Making Friends After Retirement Checklist

Checklist · People

Making friends after retirement checklist

For many of us, a lot of the week’s conversations come through work, so the week can go quiet quickly once work stops. That’s common, and it’s something you can plan for.

This checklist turns our guide, Making friends after retirement: a 12-week village builder, into small steps you can tick off at your own pace. One step a week is plenty. If a week gets away from you, pick up where you left off.

Simon Pederson, M.Fin, B.Bus (FP), Founder and Lead Retirement Planner, over 15 years helping people plan for retirement

Four friends walking and chatting on a coastal path among pandanus trees at sunset

Notice: who’s already around you?

1. Map your circle. Write names, not categories: your anchors (partner, family and long-time friends), your allies (people you see most weeks because of a shared interest) and the familiar faces you nod to at the café or on the beach walk. It’s fine if a ring looks thin today.
2. Include people you’ve lost touch with. Add them to the map. They often count more than we think.
3. Say hello to two anchors. A short message is plenty, like “Thought of you on my walk this morning”.
4. Same time, same faces. Walk the same stretch at the same time on three mornings, say Currimundi to Dicky Beach, and see who you start to recognise.

Turn up: where could you go back to?

1. Try one group you’ve been curious about. A bowls open day, a walking group, a parkrun, a library program. On the Coast, places to look include U3A Sunshine Coast, Caloundra Men’s Shed, Kawana parkrun, Sunshine Coast Libraries and Council’s Older people page. Check each organisation’s own page for current details.
2. Go back a second time. The second visit is where names start. Many people find it helps to go at least twice before deciding.
3. Keep one work friend. Have a coffee with someone from work you genuinely liked, and book the next one before you leave.

Repeat: what’s worth keeping?

1. Look into one volunteer role. Choose one that would fit your week. Our volunteer ready checklist can help you match a role to your energy and your week.
2. Invite someone over or out. Keep it small: a cuppa on the deck, or fish and chips at Mooloolaba.
3. Keep what worked. Look back over the groups you’ve tried. Keep going to the ones you enjoyed and quietly drop the rest. Not every group will suit you, and that’s useful to know.

Deepen: who could you get to know better?

1. Say yes to one invitation. Pick one you’d normally talk yourself out of.
2. Introduce two people. If you know two people who’d get on, introduce them. Circles grow sideways too.
3. Fill in your circle map again. Put it beside your first one and see who’s been added.

A few questions worth sitting with

1. Allies of your own. If you’re in a couple, it’s worth each of you having a few allies of your own, so one partner isn’t carrying the whole social diary.
2. Who did you choose to see? Who did you see last week because you wanted to, not because you had to?
3. The call you keep meaning to make. Who’s the person you keep meaning to ring?

Common questions about making friends after retirement

How do you make friends after retirement if most of yours were through work?

Start with the people you already have, then add slowly. Keep in touch with the work friends you genuinely like, and book the next catch-up before you leave each one. Then pick one or two regular things, like a walking group, a club or a volunteer role, and keep going back. Friendships after work tend to come from repeat visits.

Is it normal to feel lonely after retiring?

Many people find the first months quieter than they expected. If quiet starts to feel heavy, healthdirect says: “If you are feeling lonely or isolated, talk to your doctor or a counsellor for support and advice.”

Does volunteering help with loneliness?

The AIHW says volunteering and active membership of sporting or community organisations are associated with reduced social isolation, but it’s less clear for loneliness. Volunteering can put you among people regularly. Feeling close to them usually takes time.

I’m still working. Is it too early to start?

No. It can be easier to start while you still have work friends to carry across and some structure in your week. Filling in the circle map now gives you a clear picture before your last day.

Thinking about life after work?

How you’d like to spend your weeks is part of planning for retirement, alongside the money. If you’d like to talk it through, you’re welcome to book a relaxed 30-minute Fit Check with Simon by phone or video. See all our retirement checklists.

Book a 30-minute Fit Check

Or call Simon on (07) 5327 3495

Sources

No representation is given, warranty made, or responsibility taken about the accuracy, timeliness or completeness of information sourced from third parties. Because of this, we recommend you consider, with or without the assistance of a financial adviser, whether the information is appropriate having regard to your particular circumstances.